he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
