Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
