We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
