can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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