I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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