paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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