JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will be naked everywhere
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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