We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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