Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
