i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My butt remains clenched, sir.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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