Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
