so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
