i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
