I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
