Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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