Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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