we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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