i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
