i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
