He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You made out with two different species that night
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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