Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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