So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
