i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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