when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
