Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
