are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
