sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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