I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
