just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
