but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
