So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
