I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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