is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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