roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
