its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
