i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
