i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
