I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Your cock deserves a montage
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
