Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
