His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize