he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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