Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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