I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
