belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
