Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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