Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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