Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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