he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
