I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
