laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Let's get the cat blown out
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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