The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
