I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
