well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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