i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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