My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
