if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize