look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize