I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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