I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
