Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
